What Drives Me, and My Greatest Fear

What do I look for when I meet people? Or, what is my goal?

Immediately, I'm tempted to say authenticity and genuineness. For me, it's about being able to connect with people around me on a meaningful level. 

Making connections and being able to see others every post or Like on Facebook is fun and good in many ways, but it also kind of waters down potentially what a relationship is about and real connections. 

I don't care much about the glitz and glamor of life as much as I do the person behind it all. I'm interested in understanding the purpose of people -- their WHYs, WHATs, HOWs. WHO they really are. 

Life can be fun, and meeting people is great. However, I want to leave a positive, indelible impression on others... and the world. Beyond all the fame and fortune, the cars and the money, there's just us people and time. Given that we're only here for a short time with sometimes fleeting moments with extraordinary people, I want to get to know people on a deeper level.

Given, if fame and fortune are the essences of some, or that's what they say, then there's nothing wrong with that. I'd just like to know them.

I'm thinking about what is something I would want, if I could change the world... perhaps because I'm in this mindset already, but I'd want people to trust more. I'd like for people to be more open to genuine connections and letting in others via opening up. 

What is my greatest fear? What do I think about?

I believe my greatest fear is not being authentic... not being genuine to who I really am. I think about all the hard work that I do, and the people I meet. I want them to know who I truly am, and to that extent, know it's truly me because I'm authentic. 

Thinking about this and thinking about why... I can't say I have a specific reason other than I want genuine connections with people. 

To some extent, I believe that it comes down to being loved, but also the reciprocation of that -- to love. 

I want to be able to be a provider for a community, and to be known for that. Perhaps this is some aspiration for adoration, but to me, it's also a sign that I'm making an impact. I'm changing lives. That to me is important. 

I know I can't make intimate connections with everyone... heck, it's hard just cultivating the relationships I have today as my circle continually grows. However, I suppose that at a grander level like a city or country, I want my brand to be authentic so that even if I am not personally able to meet others, they can use my brand as a proxy for an authentic connection. They can use that as some motivation and inspiration to strive for greater.

Why?

I want to help others. Ever since I was young, I've always wanted to help others. My Eagle Scout Project was about helping, especially, those who had meager resources or less means to provide for themselves and their families. 

I wonder about the homeless that I see about how I can help. Less of giving them straight money, I'd like to give them a chance to do more than a dollar. I'd like to help them get jobs. I want to truly help them at a more macro level. Dare I say, "holistic"?

I'm impressed by those who can and do dedicate their time to helping others via months-long mission trips. I'm impressive. Really. In many ways, I want to.

However, I know that it's not the experience that I necessarily WANT to do; while also, it may not be the best means for me to help. 

Instead, I want to found companies and utilize these organizations for a greater good. Perhaps it's not myself going to help others, but it's myself + a large collection of others (their minds, their bodies, their souls (okay, their wallets, too, maybe?)) to help others. 

I think about how great it'd be to mobilize a company to go build homes with Habitat for Humanity instead of working for a day. How great would that be? It's not just me, but maybe it'd be several hundred people?!

That's what gets me excited. Me? I'm just one person, and yes, one person can make a difference. However, I'm not playing the short game. I'm playing the long game. I want to be the kind of one person who has a greater impact.